I first heard about Kausalya from a friend of mine. Her sister-in-law worked at an NGO which was founded by her. She founded the first organization for AIDs afflicted women in South India, called Positive Women’s Network. My friend used to tell me stories of her city bred, sophisticated sister-in-law visiting the Dabha’s in the highways to educate prostitutes on the use of condoms. I was intrigued by these stories. But what really moved me was the story of the founder herself.
Kausalya was 19 years old when she was married to a truck driver. Her husband was HIV positive and he married her inspite of knowing this. Within a few weeks of marriage he was tested positive for AIDS and seven months later he died, leaving her HIV positive. Imagine a 19 year old uneducated women , based in a conservative small southern town of Namakkal, widowed and with a disease which has so much social stigma associated with it. This was in 1995 when the awareness of AIDS was almost non-existent. I wonder if it is possible to be in a deeper dump than this.
But Kausalya was not defeated. She came to Chennai with the support of her family and friends. She told her story to the media and also talked about the precautions young women should take before they married. Remember this was at a time when people were afraid to acknowledge that they had the disease. She founded the PWN plus with the help of another NGO called INP plus.
Since then she has worked tirelessly for her cause. She has spoken in several international conferences and media forums. I was reading her interview in Rediff and she says “I have spoken in the Indian Parliament to our MPs about the problems HIV positive people face. I also was fortunate enough to address the UK Parliament. I have had interactions with our President Dr APJ Abdul Kalam, with UN Secretary General Kofi Annan and also with Congress President Sonia Gandhi. I could achieve all this because I was an HIV positive woman. I consider these some of the advantages of being a ‘positive’ woman! If I were not HIV positive, I would have lived like an ordinary woman in Namakkal” Wow, this is what I call positive thinking.
I was watching the CNN-IBN Indian of the year, awards show on TV yesterday. She was one of the nominees in the “public service” category. They requested her to say a few words. Present in the ceremony, were the elite of India, clad in their finest suits and looking very sophisticated. She was dressed in an ordinary saree and looked very much a poor lady from Namakkal. She stood up with a smile and confidently addressed the gathering in broken English, “ I am a HIV positive women and I want to help other like myself. I believe that we deserve the same respect like others in the society. I am truly honored to be nominated for the award.” Although she groped for words, through out the short speech neither her smile nor her confidence wavered.
Hats off to Kausalya. She has proven that no matter what your circumstances, you can make the best use of it.
What an amazing woman Kausalya is. Thanks for sharing the story Archana. Truly inspiring. Am just lost for words reading about Kausalya’s will power and optimism.
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Thank you Saraswathi. It is indeed a very inspiring story.
Hats off to Kousalya !!
Well Said Archana…I too read it in Rediff !! There are many abt the Defence ppl who laid their life for Us and INDIA – in rediff.com, they sacrificed their life and one of their parent’s said – Param Vir Chakra will never replace their SON – I felt heart broken !! I would recommend you do a post on that too, as you have a good number of readers who can spread the word and bring in more awareness for these kind of people – who are realy winning for INDIA despite losing their own LIFE and never get mentioned or talked abt !!
Very touching story.. And inspiring too… Adversity often brings out the best in people..!
Archana.. a touching story.. i am from namakkal, and knew the issues very well..
Particularly, there was two issues that i wanted to address…
1. The history of prostitutes, and their pathetic life.. No one ever wants to come to prostitution.. but were forced & cheated in to this.. I wonder, why those who can criticise so much of our society about the housewives, did not even talk about this greatest discrimination against women.
2. The situation of drivers.. we own trucks, and many of my relatives are truck drivers.. once they board a vehicle, they would go as far as to amritsar, gurgan, calcutta, noida, and some times till Assam. It would take more than 3 months, before they could rest down from their travel.
I am sure, one could easily understand the extreme hardships faced by them.
What happened to kausalya was an act of cheating.. and it happened for many.. some, may get +ve, after marriage.. being the wife of driver is really a risky..
Today, in our area, many of the drivers did not get any bride for marriage.. this led to another social problem.. they choose to opt for marrying kerala women, who out of poverty accept this offer..
What are the solution for these problems?
Before that, what did government do, to alleviate these problems? Virtually nil.. except to advertise for condoms and aids.. and they promptly come for IT raid, when any one earns out of their hardwork
There is nothing to ease the hardships of driver.. or any backup support provided to that industry..
There is no initiative to help those drivers (unaffected), to properly get settled in life, by creating awareness among both drivers and parents who have daughters..
Its lack of vision among our leaders, that we are still struggling with these problems..
then the media portrayal of the news.. They sensationalise it, project it as one of the evils of society, instead of dealing with it genuinely and help solve this problem.
And more than that, the response from the intellectuals, and educated indians, is too disgusting.. i bet, many of the people who read it will curse our society, curse those drivers, and get satisfied.. instead of understanding and providing any constructive solutions..
The first thing needed is change in our mentality, as kausalya has demonstrated..
Vinod – Thank you for the suggestion. I will look up their stories and try to do a post.
Ananth – Thank you very much.
Senthil – Honestly, I don’t believe in judging anyone. Unless you are in a circumstance you cannot understand peoples motives. Having said that, I feel it is very cruel to marry a women with full knowlede of your disease. Kausalya herself says she can never forgive her husband for it.
I do understand they live in terrible conditions. Lot of NGOs are working actively in educating them on preventive measures. I know more needs to be done.
Senthil, there are some people who will critisize, some who will help, some who will be indifferent. All kinds of people make up this world and they all add value in their own way. Just like you cannot judge the truck drivers, we cannot jugde the critics too. Every one have their reasons for being the way they are.
Very inspiring story Archana. Thanks for sharing with us. It is people like Kausalya that give us the confidence that things can change if we set our minds to it. Well done Kausalya.
Kausalya, what a woman! Thanks for sharing it with us, Archana. She chose to tackle her problem head-on. Goes to show that truth can set people free & give them wings to fly, if only they approach it with the right perspective.
Sukumar – Thank you very much. Kausalya is indeed a great lady.
Priya – Thank you. It takes a lot of courage to handle the truth is circustances such as the one Kausalya faced. She was not afraid of speaking the truth, even though it meant facing discrimination. As you rightly said, it truly set her free.
Archana,
Thank you for sharing this story. It is amazing what Kausalya has accomplished. Many unfortunate things happen in life. Having the courage, confidence and majesty to rise above your circumstances and make righteous choices regardless of the consequences is truly something to applaud. I am happy that her life has a purpose in such unhappy circumstances. She is an uncommon woman.
Truly inspiring. There are so many people who might have bowed in front of their circumstances but instead stood up and fought back. These are the real heroes. Finding a purpose in life even when you face such adverse circumstances is something a very strong person can do. Hats off to Kausalya.
Janet and Amit – Thank you very much
Archana, I found this story so inspiring that I quoted your blog post extensively in an article for my company’s ezine that goes out to over 20,000 people every week.
There is an awesome power in being positive and standing tall. With so many powerful examples surrounding us, I wonder why some people choose to waste away their lives being a victim, finding fault and placing blame. Kausalya demonstrates so well that it doesn’t matter whether success of failure surround you, it is what is inside you that makes the difference. If you want to change the world and make it a better place, the change must begin within yourself. If you want to live a fulfilled life you must draw deep from within yourself. Other peoples’ success or failure may surround you, but your own success or failure lies deep within you and only you can choose what it will be.
Thank you so much, Janet. I am really touched.
/*your own success or failure lies deep within you and only you can choose what it will be*/. Very well said.
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Great Lady, Hats off to her.
Hats off to kausalaya
great woman
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